Getting old is a gift denied to many. Being old is a pain in the butt. There are so many things of the before times that are no longer in the here and now. The memories, distorted and altered by time, remain clearer than the blurry vision of what is yet to come. It’s a mess. A big mess.
I’ve been struggling with all this existential stuff post-retirement. Here are some of the things I’ve learned.
Life is easier in a healthy body.
It’s not as difficult as one might think to get a healthy body.
Move more.
Eat real food.
Activity is good at any age. We weren’t built for a sedentary life of ease. We weren’t built for chairs and screens. We were built to warily move across the savanna looking for scarce food. We survived through interdependence with our clan or group or extended family. We usually died young of deprivations.
Today we live long and depending on our choices, we prosper. Those choices can be as difficult or as easy as habits dictate. Making a routine is one way to limit the need for choices to be made second by second. Building habits of movement and healthy eating can improve life outcomes. Luck helps as well.
There are things we each can do to better our chances of a healthy old age. Some of them depend on the choices made half a century ago. Having been a healthy adult for the entire time will give you a better starting point than if you are trying to drastically improve your overall condition in old age. But none of us can go back in time and change what we did. And even having made the “right” choices decades ago doesn’t guarantee anything. Life is, after all, a crap shoot. All we can do is improve the odds.
I was the score keeper for a CrossFit Games event my son’s gym was sponsoring. It all looked so amazing. The athletes were doing such wonderful things. I wanted to do that, too. But I was already old and had never done anything at all like what I was seeing. I wished for something. But I did nothing. This does not work. Ever.
The next year, I was once again the scorekeeper and not the doer of any deeds. I was simply a year older. I had always been active, playing racquetball for years and other group activities such as Curves or water aerobic classes. But all this moving weights around and hanging from bars and flipping tires! It was all so beyond my experience.
My son found a local-to-me CrossFit gym. I walked in on a Saturday for a free trial class. I couldn’t finish the class. I cried. The coach said if I was willing to work, they were willing to work with me. I wished I could do all the things. So instead of just continuing with the wishing part, I decided to go with the doing part. I was 59 years old at the time.
When I began this foray into gym life, I could do … nothing. Not a thing. I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing and no idea how to get my body to do it. I had no stamina – still a problem for me, and next to no actual strength – I’m pretty dang strong now. What I had was determination and grit and a willingness to try. I also came home and cried frequently. It was never enough to keep me from going back. I went. Religiously. Regularly. And eventually I got better at it.
My biggest mistake when I began this journey was comparison. I was not only comparing my old-enough-to-be-their-mother self, but sometimes my old-enough-to-be-their-grandmother self. I was not taking into account my own situation and limitations. I wanted to be like the cool kids who could do the things spectacularly. I never got to the spectacular point. But I was always there and doing the best I could with the body I had to work with. It was seldom pretty. But it was always awesome. I was doing things I never thought I could.
Fitness comes in many forms. There are exercises that are just crazy. There are pieces of equipment that are terrifying. There is no reason to worry about those things. There are loads of exercises that are available to beginners and equipment isn’t even always used. There is a way for the determined. You have to choose to be determined.
What I have become is expert in failing forward. I try and do not, as Yoda might say. And then I keep trying until I do. That is the entire secret. If you can find the strength of will to allow yourself to be a beginner and fail and fail and fail again, you can eventually become not just adequate, but pleasantly capable. It is surprising when you realize it has happened. It’s a gradual process until one day you find you just did it. Amazingly satisfying.
I would love to share some of my insights from over 13 years of gym life. There were pitfalls that may be unavoidable, but I have some idea of how to skirt around them without completely falling in. Health isn’t just about exercise, it includes many other aspects, one of the most easy to control for, is what you eat. I have clues for that as well. I have an intention of sharing my “wisdom” such as it is. If you are interested, please follow along.
Stay balanced.
